Being a mommy to a newborn was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. It was the most incredible feeling, knowing I brought a miracle into the world and I was entrusted to care for this tiny human being, to shower my baby with love and to watch him grow. I’ve been through it twice now, and while it is beautiful and exciting, it can also be stressful and sometimes challenging. I wanted to let you fellow parents in on my secrets to making life easier when you have a newborn.
1. Sleep when the baby sleeps
I didn’t listen when my mom told me this, over and over again. Looking back, I wish I would have left the dishes for later, or enlisted a little help with the housework so I could have gotten some more rest those first few months.
2. Pack extras in your trunk
Yes, you will have a diaper bag with you, but there are times you will forget items. So I always keep a bag in my trunk full of “just in case” items such as a blanket, diapers and wipes, a few extra outfits (including a set of pajamas for nights that go later than you planned), and an empty bottle. And pack an extra shirt and pair of pants for YOURSELF. I made the mistake of not having a change of clothes for myself in the car one day, when I brought my 1-month-old to a meeting. I proceeded to change him in the bathroom where he had what I call a “toot and shoot,” so I ended up having to leave the meeting covered in #2. Embarrassing, right? It’s all part of motherhood. Haha.
3. Remember: no one is perfect
I stressed myself out so much when I first became a mom because I didn’t want to do anything incorrectly or look like I couldn’t handle motherhood. I was afraid to let my emotions out because I thought it made me look weak. But the truth is, there is no such thing as the perfect parent. What your baby needs most is food, sleep and love! Focus on those three things and everything else will fall into place.
4. Ask as many questions as you want at the hospital and pediatrician appointments
Don’t feel like you need to seem like you know everything. The nurses in recovery are there for the exact purpose of helping you and your new bundle of joy. Fill up on knowledge before you head home with your little one and continue to ask questions when you take them to their doctor’s appointments. I actually made lists of questions as they came up so I could take them with me to the pediatrician’s office.
5. Always bring the elevated sleeper
I love this bright pink Minnie Mouse Bows and Butterflies sleeper. An item just like this was our best friend when we would head to a friend’s house for dinner. It gave us a place to let our little one rest while we ate or while we were hanging out.
6. Get a play yard with a newborn/bassinet insert
Consider this Geo Pooh Play Yard from Sears. You will be waking up every hour or two to feed your baby for the first few months of his/her life, so it helps to have them sleeping near you. And just as often as you wake up to feed your baby, you will be changing his/her diaper. When you get a play yard like this one, you can do all of those things in one spot and continue to use the play yard for years to come. Plus, it has ample storage. That’s a win-win for Mommy, Daddy and Baby!
7. Ask your OBGYN what items you need to buy for yourself for your at home care after giving birth
Trust me, you will want to have those things on hand when you get home. The hospital will supply you with some items, but they won’t be enough, and the last thing you will want to do when you get home with a newborn is need to go to the store for that sort of stuff.
8. One-piece outfits like rompers are a mommy’s best friend, so stock up on them!
These are the easiest little outfits to get on and off of your baby.
Loving your baby is the greatest gift you can give your child, so keep your head up and have confidence in your abilities. As you arrive home with your tiny blessing in your arms, I hope you can relax a little and use this list to help relieve some stress. Remember: Moments of stress are fleeting, but being a parent is a magical gift that lasts a lifetime! You can do it!
Image: nguyenbaqua-2474706/Pixabay
SOURCE: Huggies
Not too long ago, men weren’t expected (and sometimes even allowed) to be in the delivery room. Fathers still doted on their children, but in their own ways, such as providing for the family and doing the “fun” side of parenting. This left the business of caring for kids on mom’s lap.
Dads, I’m talking to you today.
Because while we still have a ways to go, you’re more likely to get involved and take on an equal role in parenthood than generations past. You especially want to participate from day one, and yes, right in the delivery room. You realize caring for a baby doesn’t—shouldn’t—only fall on mom’s lap.
You’re assuming more responsibilities, but being a new dad can be both exciting and nerve-wrecking at the same time.
5 tips for new dads in the newborn stage
I’ve seen many dads who want to be as involved as possible while bonding with their new babies. To care for the baby and their partner and be present in more ways than “helping.” With the challenges of the newborn stage, your baby and partner need you now more than ever.
Consider this your new dad’s survival kit, the tips to get you through those newborn months:
1. Take that time off work
Not all jobs or even work environments allow for a lengthy paternity leave. Even if they do, taking a long leave may not be financially smart in your situation.
That said, I encourage you to take that time off work, especially in those first few days and weeks. Learn alongside your partner the nuances of caring for your baby so you can encourage and support each other.
Research has also shown that fathers who take time off develop a stronger bond and have more confidence in their roles.
You don’t even have to take time off right away—take most of your time off once your partner goes back to work. This would you allow you to spend one-on-one time with the baby as well as save money by postponing child care costs even further.
Make going to work a last resort during your baby’s first few weeks and months. As they say, you can always make up for the loss of money, but you can never make up for the loss of time.
2. Bring a pen and notebook to doctor’s appointments
After the baby is born, you’ll visit his pediatrician for a slew of appointments. The younger the baby, the more often his doctor needs to monitor him.
These can be some of the most challenging outings those first few months. You or your partner aren’t exactly in the best place to leave the house. Bundling a newborn into the car seat in time to make it for the scheduled slot is difficult.
Once at the doctor’s, you’ll juggle your baby (who may not be too keen to have the doctor examine him) as well as all the information the doctor is telling you.
This is why it’s important to bring a pen and notebook to your appointments. One of you can hold the baby and speak to the doctor while the other can be responsible for recording important information you don’t want to miss.
Record important information the doctor might mention, like:
- When you should call if you notice your baby has a fever
- How many ounces or pounds he should gain by the next appointment
- Dosages for any medicine he may need to take
- Which vaccinations to expect at each appointment
- When your next appointments will be
Use your notebook to write any questions you may also have before going to the doctor. Once you’re in the office, you’ll have your list ready to go instead of trying to remember what you’d meant to ask.
3. Be patient with your partner
You and your partner may have hardly fought before having kids, but now with a baby to care for, you likely will. With both of you sleep-deprived and learning on the go, it’s no wonder those first few weeks and months can be challenging for any relationship.
Be patient with your partner during this time. Remind yourself that she’s also recovering from the physical strains of labor. Her emotions are also all over the place, due to sleep deprivation to changes in hormones.
This is the time to pick your battles and let things slide. Ask yourself if what you’re arguing about will make a difference in the long run. If not, let it go. And despite her behavior, this is actually when she needs you to be patient and supportive the most.
Focus instead on being her cheerleader, her rock. The one who can make her laugh when she’s feeling down, and the one she can rely on when she’s afraid or nervous.
And communicate regularly. We moms have this annoying habit of dropping hints instead of explicitly saying what we want or need. Encourage open and honest communication, even making it a daily or weekly ritual. You’ll avoid mixed messages and will more work as a team.
4. Talk to your baby
All these months in utero, your baby has been hearing the sound of your voice. Talking to your baby is a fantastic way to reinforce the bond you have and provide the reassurance he needs from a familiar sound.
Don’t feel silly either if the baby doesn’t “respond”—that comes later. Babies won’t reciprocate social cues for a while, and won’t even have a genuine smile until around six to eight weeks after birth. Rest assured that your baby loves hearing you talking and spending time with him.
5. Assume baby duties for yourself
If your partner breastfeeds, you might feel out of the loop with a huge portion of your baby’s days and nights (babies nurse a long time!). Assume the role of diaper changer not only to balance responsibilities with your partner but to own a particular duty yourself.
Middle of the night wake ups are the worst for moms, so even the simple gesture of waking up to change the baby can make a huge difference.
You might not think it adds up to much—changing a diaper takes a few minutes—but you just gave your partner those few minutes not to have to get up. We notice those kinds of things!
Besides diaper changes, you might be the one who burps the baby after he nurses or washes pump parts or bottles. You could give the baby a bath, or read him his bedtime stories.
Assuming a role of your own not only helps your partner, but allows you the opportunity to spend one-on-one time with your baby. And a side effect of all this? You grow more confident in your abilities as someone who can handle many tasks on solo duty.
Bonus Tip: You are capable
Meeting your new baby and assuming the responsibilities that come with caring for him can feel daunting. Despite your fears and anxieties with being a new dad, know that you are capable and can rock this parenthood thing.
Somehow we’ve grown to believe that moms are more capable of caring for a baby. That carrying him in her womb for months has bestowed on her a natural inclination to be a parent.
You are also capable. You’re not a second-tier parent, or the babysitter who needs instructions to care for his baby. You don’t lack any “instincts” to be a good father to your little one. You have everything you need in your heart.
Image: PublicDomainPictures/Pixabay
SOURCE: Sleepingshouldbeeasy
Babies cry to communicate: cueing us to feed them, change them, warm and cool them, give them rest, attention and companionship.
But an inconsolable, crying baby is torture. Literally.
This kind of sleep deprivation and constant exposure to babies’ screams are among psychological torture techniques banned by the United Nations, so calling the day to day experience of non-stop crying punishment is an understatement.
If you’re reading this, chances are you feel like your baby is crying harder, louder, longer or more frequently than before or than other babies.
The experience is hard for everyone, so soothing a crying baby means finding a solution that not only helps your baby but also provides relief to you.
My baby is full, has a clean diaper, is neither hot or cold and doesn’t want to sleep…
Why is my baby crying?!
The U.S. National Library of Medicine outlines many reasons for excessive crying in babies from birth to six months that are relatively harmless and treatable conditions like diaper rash, constipation or the common cold.
It could also be a developmental phase which lacks a cure but that babies grow out of such as gassiness, colic, PURPLE crying, growth spurts or teething. Babies are also sensitive to medication and vaccinations.
But it never hurts to get a medical opinion!
If you feel like your baby’s crying is a sudden change coupled with a high temperature, vomiting or diarrhea, you should contact a medical professional. Possible persistent digestive issues such as excessive gassiness, reflux, GERD or a food allergy can also be diagnosed by your pediatrician according to KellyMom.
But if all of these possible reasons are ruled it, it could be what’s know as “colic.”
Colic: What in the world is it?
Colic is one of the most terrifying words to a new parent. The Mayo Clinic defines it as:
Persistent and inconsolable crying for (at least) three hours at a time, for (at least) three days a week, for three weeks or more in an otherwise perfectly healthy baby.
Other facts about colic include:
- It starts a few weeks after birth.
- The episodes come at a predictable time: usually in the late afternoon or evening and may end in the passing of gas or a bowel movement. (Your baby, not you.)
- Crying is intense, high-pitched and sounds distressed. It sounds more like screaming than crying.
- Their face gets flushed and looks pained – like an “angry red raisin” as one colic survivor put it best.
- Is unrelated to any need. In other words, has no cause and comes out of nowhere.
- The baby’s legs curl, fists clench and abdominal muscles tense up.
- The crying is unresponsive to all known soothing techniques.
The mystery surrounding colic.
Doctors don’t know the precise reason for colic. It’s unknown as to whether it’s genetic or related to pregnancy and childbirth, but it is not a reflection of parenting skills, even though it may feel like it.
Certain conditions can trigger it:
Overstimulation: Newborns are born without fully developed senses and have the ability to drown out the environment around them.
When babies begin to fully develop their sense of sight, smell, and sound, which happens to correlate with the typical onset of colic, many children find this introduction to the environment overwhelming.
Excessive Gassiness: Austin-based pediatrician, Dr. Ari Brown, explains that all babies are gassy because they eat around the clock producing endless gas. All babies need to pass this gas, but as Dr. Jennifer Shu, author of Food Fights: Winning The Nutritional Challenges of Parenthood Armed with Insight, Humor, and A Bottle of Ketchup explains that some babies have difficulty passing gas.
The telltale signs of this are excessive and pained fussing, squirming and pulling their legs up. If babies are relieved after passing gas, this also suggests that gas may be the culprit.
Infant Acid Reflux: Infant GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) can trigger colic as a result of an underdeveloped lower esophageal sphincter, which is the muscle that keeps stomach acid from flowing back up into the throat and mouth.
This can irritate the esophagus and cause pain. Symptoms include frequent spitting up, poor eating and irritability during and after feedings. GERD generally subsides by age one when baby is eating more solid foods.
Food Allergies and Sensitivities: Stomach pain may also be related to diet. In formula-fed babies, this can be due to an allergy to milk protein (lactose intolerance) and in some cases a reaction to the mother’s diet during breastfeeding. Avoid gas-causing cruciferous veggies (like cabbage, cauliflower, and broccoli), acidic citrus fruits or allergenic foods like dairy, soy, wheat, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts and fish.
Tobacco Exposure: While the connection is unclear, several studies have shown that babies exposed to smoke (like that from tobacco) either directly or from second-hand smoke, during pregnancy or as infants, were more likely to struggle with colic.
The good news? You’re not alone! 1/5 of babies develop colic. It begins to improve by three months with the majority of children showing improvement at four to five months.
Okay, I know what colic is. Now what?
Dr. Lester uncovered that the diagnosis of colic and the dismissive nature of “Just hang in there!” often given to parents from pediatricians could be devastating to parents.
The effects of colic can be a trigger for postpartum depression (PPD), and without any help for the parents, a real danger exists of failure to forge a bond with the child that is essential to the child’s development.
While it’s easy for someone else to tell you that a few months is nothing in the grand scheme of your baby’s lifetime, it can be excruciating figuring out how to make it through tonight.
Or tomorrow. Or next week.
While your baby’s crying may be inconsolable at times, there are some measures that may help lessen the blow.
Relax. The problem isn’t you.
In cross-cultural research by Ian St. James-Roberts, a child psychologist at the University of London, and several researchers in England and Denmark, studies of parenting techniques from around the world found no significant differences between the occurrence and persistence of colic and parenting styles.
You are not the problem!
In fact, most of the soothing techniques, aids, and contraptions are modeled after you, as you are your baby’s most soothing device.
The upside of this is that you are available, portable, paid in full and have a lifetime warranty. You also don’t take up valuable space and aren’t a dreadful eyesore.
The last time babies felt safe and secure was inside you, and some just want back in that sacred, comfy space they trust: the womb. Therefore, many soothing techniques aim to recreate those sensations.
Ways to soothe a colicky baby.
These soothing techniques can be useful to any crying baby, not just those struggling from colic! Any bouts of crying or excessive fussiness can be helped with soothing.
Movement.
Rocking and Bouncing: One comforting technique involves rocking your baby in your arms in a bold, vigorous swinging motion with your feet hip distance apart, and your arms rounded widely in a barrel shape swinging them from side to side.
If you’d like the rocking motion to be a little less vigorous, you can try out a rocking chair or glider. Your baby may prefer bouncing which can be recreated by bouncing on an exercise ball.
Baby Wearing: If the only place your baby can be comforted is in your arms, you may want your appendages back before they fall off. Baby wearing is one way your baby can be soothed not just by motion, but by the familiar smell and sound of your voice, and by experiencing the new sights and sounds of the world in the security of your presence. Did I mention you get your arms back?
Swings and Bouncers: You can find swings and bouncers that will create a soothing movement and are electrically powered, providing you with a much-needed break.
Good Vibrations: Many rockers, newborn nappers, and bassinets have a built in vibrating motion that can be turned on and off. Parents recreate this by placing their infant seat on appliances like a dryer (with caution and supervision!) or by driving around the block with the baby in the car seat.
Comforting.
Swaddling: That tight, comforting space inside you that kept them feeling snug and secure can be recreated through swaddling to help soothe and make them sleep longer.
Sucking: Both WebMD and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) insist that there’s nothing wrong with giving a newborn a pacifier. Some children have strong sucking needs and are quickly soothed by a pacifier.
Pacifiers not only reduce the risk of SIDS but can ease reflux by satisfying the need to suck instead of the excessive filling of their stomachs. Babies can learn to suck as a self-soothing technique which can help them regulate their emotional reactions.
Most babies give up the pacifier on their own around the seventh month. If yours doesn’t, don’t worry. The AAP says it’s unlikely to harm their development. In a pinch, you can also use your finger (but for your baby’s sake, please wash it first).
Special Bath Time: A warm bath in a snug baby tub can also soothe babies especially when they become part of a set routine, such as at bedtime, which can soothe a crying infant to sleep. Lavender, vanilla, chamomile and rose are soothing scents that can also help with sleep. Scented baby bath products and lotions can be a nice addition to your routine to help calm your baby because newborns have an especially sensitive sense of smell.
Sound: Babies aren’t used to silence. They remember the constant noise of your heart beat, blood rushing through your body and gurgling of your stomach. Providing white noise also blocks out other sources of stimulation that might be causing your baby stress. You can make white noise yourself by shushing loudly, continuously and close to your baby’s ear.
Babies are often comforted by the sound of appliances like vacuum cleaners, hair dryers, and other noisy appliances. Your baby may also respond to the sound of water while you shower or wash dishes. White noise machines are available but have become somewhat controversial in that they may not work, create dependency or be dangerously loud. So make sure the one you decide on works for your baby. (Or you.) There are also several
So make sure the one you decide on works for your baby. (Or you.) There are also several apps that provide different soothing sounds you can experiment with that you can play from your smart phone over a Bluetooth speaker left in your baby’s room.
Soothing Environment: Create the calmest, quietest and most soothing environment for your baby by putting them in soft, tagless, comfortable clothes, dimming the lights, closing the curtains, playing soft music or white noise, removing any distractions like TV and quell any commotion in the home to help minimize the overpowering elements that can overwhelm and overstimulate the baby. This may be a good starting point for attempting other soothing techniques as well.
Sleep: Colicky babies tend to suffer from poor sleep habits. There’s a vicious cycle: the baby exhausts themselves from crying and the more exhausted the baby gets, the more they cry and then they become even harder to soothe. So colic expert Dr. Pamela High, who works at Brown University’s Brown Center for Children at Risk, stresses that colicky babies need solid and balanced sleep, both during the day and night in a dark, peaceful, quiet setting. A baby’s need for sleep evolves as they do. So be mindful of these developmental stages.
Solids: Babies suffering from acid reflux can benefit from the introduction of solid foods as early as 4 months with the supervision of their pediatrician or gastroenterologist. It is recommended that babies with reflux start with foods that are low in acidity such as rice or cereal, avocados, pears, and bananas.
Easing discomfort.
While there is no clear cause for colic, some soothing techniques that ease excessive gassiness, which is a frequent symptom of colic, may help.
Feeding Techniques: The method you use to feed and burp your may also help.
- While feeding, make sure your baby’s head is higher than their stomach.
- When bottle feeding, try to prevent the intake of bubbles that results from mixing formula by letting it rest before serving.
- Limit air that gets into their system by making sure the bottle is at an angle where the nipple is always full and use a nipple that is slower rather than faster so that your baby isn’t gulping air to keep up.
- Burp your baby frequently during feeding.
Colic Holds: Dr. Sears describes some of the most successful ways you can calm your baby just by holding and gently moving them around.
- Football Carry: Popular among dads, this involves placing baby stomach-down along the forearm, head towards the crook of the elbow and his legs straddling over the hand. Then press the baby’s tense abdomen against the forearm. This can also be reversed with baby head first, or you can also use your thigh instead if the baby is too heavy or forearm is too small.
- The Neck Nestle: Another favorite of Dr. Sears involves snuggling the baby’s head into the groove between your chin and chest and swaying back and forth, crooning a low, slow, repetitive tune. Not only is this soothing to baby, but it’s also great exercise.
- The Gas Pump: Start with the baby on their back facing you, with their legs up towards you and head resting on your knees or another safe surface. Pump their legs up and down in a bicycling motion. Dr. Sears suggests that animated facial expressions make this even more effective. Since the situation couldn’t be more awkward, it can’t hurt!
- The Colic Curl: Place the baby’s head and back against your chest and encircle your arms under their bottom, then curl your arms up. Or conversely, place the baby’s feet against your chest as you hold them so you can maintain eye contact. This way you can entertain them with the kind of silly faces that will mortify them as teenagers.
- Tummy Rolls: With a hand securely on the baby’s back, drape the baby over a large beach ball tummy-side down and roll in a gentle, massaging circular motion. You should find this entertaining to watch.
- Tummy Tucks: Place a rolled-up cloth or cloth-covered warm water bottle under the baby’s tummy. You can lay the baby stomach-down on a cushion with their legs dangling over the edge while rubbing their back. To make sure breathing isn’t obstructed turn their head from side to side.
Talk to your doctor: While colic alone is not the medical condition that requires treatment, your pediatrician can suggest over the counter medications and remedies for gas such as Mylicon gas drops, probiotics to help promote intestinal health and homeopathic remedies that can ease bouts of crying.
Here’s Looking at You, Kid: Sometimes it takes looking in the mirror for all of us to see what kind of a hot mess we are, babies included. When a baby sees their own meltdown, it can be enough to shock many out of a crying spell. Just avoid evaluating the state of the baggage claim beneath your own eyes.
Here today and gone tomorrow!
“But it just worked yesterday!” cry frustrated moms everywhere.
Don’t feel defeated when your go-to soothing technique from yesterday proves useless today. It’s more likely that their symptoms are escalating than any failure on your part.
Get creative!
Try something new or build upon what you found your baby likes best.
While it’s not recommended that you throw the kitchen sink at the baby from day one, once you know what works you can try combining techniques.
For example, combining swaddling, using a pacifier and motion. Or giving a bath, in a dark and quiet room using scented bath products with the white noise of the water.
Live in the now!
Don’t get bogged down by dependency fears: Will my baby need a pacifier into childhood? Will we need a white noise machine forever? Will swaddling ruin their chances of going to the Olympics? If you have doubts, talk to your pediatrician. Otherwise, you can worry about those things when your baby has stopped their multiple hours of crying.
The importance of self-care.
While the colic crying alone cannot hurt your healthy baby, the stress of managing colic takes an enormous toll on parents who feel demoralized and incompetent when faced with inconsolable crying. Infants are only in any physical danger when this frustration becomes violent with child abuse and shaken baby syndrome.
The emotional consequences of stress from colic alone have lasting effects on the child’s development and life dissatisfaction of the family years later according to a Finnish Family Competence Study Project by researchers at the University of Turku.
A Canadian study expanded on this in the context of maternal bonding and postpartum depression. They found that while the crying alone is benign, the struggle of dealing with a fussy, crying baby lessens a mother’s ability to cope and their corresponding negative mood state is perceptible to the child which erodes the foundation for a healthy relationship between mother and baby.
Colic is frequently a trigger for postpartum depression. This is in part due to the release of the hormone prolactin, otherwise known as the “Mothering Hormone.”
Prolactin is released at the sound of a baby’s cry and triggers a mother’s urge to pick up and meet the baby’s needs. While no doubt having evolutionary value, when the mother can’t ease the baby’s cries she feels like a failure.
As Dr. Lester attests:
“I think one of the most effective interventions we do — and do as soon as we can — is to in a sense let the mother off the hook. And to say this is something going on in your baby. Not something you did.”
Dr. Lester stresses that parents shouldn’t go through the experience alone before getting some help. Just like the classic flight instructions to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others, to help your baby you need to attend to yourself first.
Ways to make the colic experience easier for you.
Gather the Troops: If you have relatives, use them. If you can afford childcare, get it. If you have friends, even if you think they have nothing to offer, call them anyways.
Ask anyone and everyone you know for help, whether they can take care of your baby, cook or clean or provide moral support. This means taking the initiative and letting go of any shame or guilt surrounding having a colicky baby and not being able to take care of everything yourself. Colic or no colic, every mother has been there.
Get Dad Involved: If your partner isn’t already handling the colicky baby alongside you in the trenches, it’s time to get them involved. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone! If they’ve been unavailable, make them allocate time to get involved.
Your partner needs to learn the basics of baby care for when they take over, as well as the soothing techniques for when it comes time for them to tag in during crying spells. Inform them with what you know and face this as a team.
Take a Breather: When the baby is completely inconsolable, you’ve tried absolutely everything, and feel like you’ve been through a meat grinder, sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away. When you’re confident your baby’s basic needs have been met, put the baby in a safe place like the crib or a swing and take a break. Put in ear plugs or use noise-canceling headphones to lessen the deafening sound if it helps.
While this seems outrageously out of tune with Dr. Sears’ attachment parenting and the need to attend to your baby’s every need, when your baby cannot be soothed, and you’re completely depleted, what you have to offer in that moment is of no value to anyone.
Regroup, take a break, and when you find yourself in better shape, you’ll be of much greater help to your baby and family.
Join the Club: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! If only parents could proudly wear “Colic Survivor” t-shirts and get those colored ribbons and rubber bracelets to support colic research! (They should be the bright reddish purple color your baby’s face turns during a crying episode.)
Kidding aside, if 1/5 of babies suffer from colic, one in every five moms is in the same boat. Which means anytime you find ways to be around other moms, the greater the chance you will encounter another mom dealing with the same struggles.
You can ask questions, exchange horror stories and get support from fellow moms online in colic specific forums on Baby Center, What To Expect and many colic support groups you can join on Facebook. You can also talk to your OB/GYN about private therapy and support groups in your area.
In your moments of breathless desperation during those crying spells, it’s OK for you to cry too!
The outlook.
Research into colic and excessive crying has found that it can inhibit brain development, depress their immune system, alter the neurochemistry of their developing brain to make them more prone to depression, aggression, impulsivity, violence and emotional detachment, lower their IQ, weaken social skills, impede fine motor skills, prevent abilities to modulate emotions and a sense of independence as a child.
It will also make them turn green, grow tentacles and develop a third eye on the back of their head. Well, maybe not the last three, but in your case maybe none of the above!
All the studies that found that these babies who had disrupted emotional, physical, intellectual, neurological and relationship development were in cases where parents or caretakers ignored and neglected their babies cries.
Every study points to the prolonged, neglected, unattended crying as the source of these problems. Infant developmental specialist, Dr. Michael Lewis concluded that “The single most important influence of a child’s intellectual development is the responsiveness of the mother to the cues of her baby.”
Even when soothing techniques don’t appear to comfort your baby, the simple act of responding to their distress and engaging with them while they are crying is helping them immensely in developing a secure attachment.
It may comfort you to know that while the attempts at soothing may not quell the crying spell itself, the building blocks of the relationship between you and your baby are being set, even when it feels imperceptible. This will enable your child to outgrow the distress of their colic in a matter of months.
Just make sure you are in a good mental space to respond. Colic isn’t just a diagnosis for babies; it affects the whole family.
SOURCE: Momtricks
Some people wonder what the deal with herbs for breastfeeding is when this is a natural process which should run its course.
However, they are only partly right. Breastfeeding is a natural process, indeed. However, we are all naturally different.
We also live a much different life than our even our most recent ancestors – different diets, various kinds of work, and different stress levels, all of which can affect breast milk supply.
Also, after years of breastfeeding being something not talked about, women do not get the chance to understand how to eat and supplement well for nutritious breast milk. After all, we all have muscles.
This does not mean that we are all shaped the same way and equally strong. Therefore, some mothers may have abundant supplies of milk, others may have less, and there are also those who struggle. However, those who cannot breastfeed are the rarest of all.
So before putting the kettle on, here are some important things you need to keep in mind.
DO YOU NEED TO INCREASE YOUR MILK SUPPLY?
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| Source: pixabay.com |
It is very hard knowing what to do once Baby comes in general. You read and prepare, ask around, have your mother and mommy friends around you.
It is tough to assess something your body is going through for the first time. Moreover, the cues are different for every person.
No wonder many mothers fear the worst and feel they need to increase milk supply. However, before doing this, they must make sure that this is the case.
“These are additional important signs that indicate your baby is receiving enough milk:
- The baby nurses were frequently averaging at least 8-12 feedings per 24-hour period.
- The baby is allowed to determine the length of the feeding, which may be 10 to 20 minutes per breast or longer.
- Baby’s swallowing sounds are audible as he is breastfeeding.
- The baby should gain at least 4-7 ounces per week after the fourth day of life.
- The baby will be alert and active, appear healthy, have good color, firm skin, and will be growing in length and head circumference.” (source)
- Also, before looking for ways to boost milk supply, know that breastfeeding means meeting somewhere in the middle with Baby and trusting your body more. Your little one will become more efficient in feeding, will eat up and empty your milk supply, while your body will instinctively know how much to make.
Your little one will become more efficient in feeding, will eat up and empty your milk supply, while your body will instinctively know how much to make.
The best thing to do is to allow Baby to eat as often as possible in the early days. This means more often than the 1.5-2 hour feedings and NO BOTTLES! Your baby sucking at the breast will naturally stimulate milk production. However, if you feel like Baby is sucking all your milk and still feels hungry, then you should consider some lactation supplements.
WHAT ARE LACTATION SUPPLEMENTS?
While most doctors recommend keeping a balanced diet, at times this is not enough because doctors are not heavily trained in nutrition their advice is not always the best in this department. Many doctors will recommend low-fat diets not taking into consideration how important healthy fats are for pregnancy and breastfeeding.
Plus, our modern, Western diet is not the most nutritious and new moms need a deep, immense nutrition to support a new baby through pregnancy and breastfeeding. Chances are, the foods you are eating don’t contain all the vitamins and minerals a breastfeeding mommy needs. This is where supplements come in.
They must be all natural, as you cannot afford to get any chemicals into the body of your little one. Moreover, this is where information on herbs for breastfeeding comes in handy. Also, some drugs used to increase milk production are strong contributors to postpartum depression. This is a known side effect. On the other hand, many herbs stimulate milk production and soothe depression.
You may have heard the term “galactagogue” get thrown around among people looking for or recommending ways to increase prolactin production.
“galactagogue”
[gah-lak´tah-gog]
Promoting the flow of milk.
An agent that promotes the flow of milk.” (source)
Such an agent may be a pharmaceutical product or an herbal tea. The safest bet is to start with the natural supplements, especially since mothers tend to underestimate their bodies’ capacity to produce enough milk for their babies. This is preferably in the form of teas and other similar concoctions for the preparation of which you get to see and handle the ingredients yourself.
WHAT TYPE OF BREASTFEEDING TEA SHOULD YOU BE DRINKING?
Never jump to the conclusion that any breastfeeding tea will help. In reality, experienced herbalists spend much time learning about each plant, its effects, and its counter-indications. They know how each one should be used and its definite benefits.
Susun Weed is such a person. She is a Master Herbalist who has published several herbal medicine books with a focus on women in their childbearing years. This is the type of person whose expert advice you should trust. Here are some of her recommendations from her site – see sources below.
- INFUSION of red raspberry leaves (Rubus spp.) and Nettle leaves (Urtica Doica), and Oat Straw (Avena sativa L.) – Brewed as a tea or as an infusion, raspberry is the best known, most widely used, and safest of all uterine and pregnancy tonic herbs. The high mineral content assists in milk production, while nettle and oat straw improve the quantity and quality of breast milk. This combination is the mildest, safest, and the first choice of herbs for breastfeeding for many new moms.
- TINCTURE of blessed thistle (Cnicus benedictus) – in a dose of 10-20 drops, two or four times a day. Blessed thistle is a known galactagogue, and it is also said to lift postpartum depression of various forms. Caution: the herb is very bitter, the reason why a tincture is better than tea in this case. You also have the option of a BREW made from blessed thistle and oat straw or nettle. You can make this drink once, half and half of each type of herb, and refrigerate it. When you want to drink it, heat it up to the point of boiling and pour it over aromatic seeds (a mix of seeds in a teaspoon, not more). It will also revitalize you, as well as stimulate milk production.
- ALCOHOL-FREE STOUT OR MALT for hops (Humulus Lupulus) – one per day. As strange as beer might seem like a breast milk production incentive, it is naturally made from hops. Keep in mind the fact that hops are such a strong galactagogue that it is recommended to the mothers of twins who need to produce more milk.
- INFUSION of comfrey leaves (Symphytum uplandica x) – is ideal for some additional reasons. It improves bone health, it repairs ligaments, muscles, and tissue and it improves digestion. Caution: use comfrey leaves, not roots. The roots have the strong liver-damaging property borage leaves have.
- A simple BREW of aromatic seeds (anise, caraway, coriander, cumin, dill, fennel) – will also help with digestion and soothe a colicky baby.
- WATER of fennel or barley – soak or boil the barley, then strain out the seeds. Refrigerate. When you need it, heat or boil a cup and add one teaspoon of fennel seeds per cup. Other advantages include relief for after-pains and improvement of digestion.
OTHER RECOMMENDATIONS FOR HERBS INCLUDE:
Fenugreek (Trigonella foenumgraecum) – is one of the strongest galactagogues out there. It can be taken as a tea or a tincture, safe consumption being of up to 3500 mg/day. Fenugreek works very fast as well. Caution: do not consume fenugreek while still pregnant. It causes uterine activity.
Goat’s Rue (Galega officinalis) – apart from being very helpful in stimulating milk production, this herb also helps develop mammary tissue. It is recommended to the women who have problems in producing milk on account of polycystic ovary syndrome, and it can also be consumed during pregnancy.
CONCLUSION
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| Source: unsplash.com |
ou do not need to become an expert herbalist yourself to push through any breastfeeding-related problems. However, you do need the help of a professional in the field.
Although babies thrive on mother love more than anything, know that the most important aspect is to keep calm and do what is best for your little one.
Panicking and comparing yourself to other mothers around is a terrible idea. Take the advice of professionals – lactation consultants and master herbalists – and try it out with patience. There are numerous types of herbs for breastfeeding, and it is important to find the one that works best for you.
Featured image: unsplash.com
SOURCES: Babycaremag
www.llli.org
www.susunweed.com
thelittleherbal.com
herblore.com
naturalsociety.com
medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com
Hiccups can be a neat experience for any mom to feel while her baby is in utero, just like feeling kicks and movement. It’s exciting and reassuring to feel your growing baby! But once your newborn is here, hiccups are kind of miserable for him.
I think most importantly we as moms want to know: do they hurt our baby?
And could we be doing something different to decrease their frequency?
Well, don’t fret; it’s likely not something you are doing to cause them. As we know for ourselves, hiccups can come and go mysteriously and without warning. We can, however, determine what they are defined as, look at possible triggers, and explore some ways to help your newborn from them and out of them.
Hiccups by definition.
Have you ever looked into what causes hiccups? I know for myself, I am kind of familiar with what might bring them on for me, but I have never really looked into what defines them until now.
Hiccups are not painful and if anything they can just be a small annoyance. Scientifically, they are caused by an involuntary spasm or contraction of the diaphragm and the quick closing of the vocal chords which causes that “hic” sound.
My son never cried as a result of hiccups during his newborn or infant stage. Sometimes his hiccups would last for what I thought was a while (maybe ten minutes) and I remember specifically asking his pediatrician if this was normal because he was my first child and I was not sure.
He did assure me that it is normal for newborns and infants to get hiccups because their digestive track is still developing.
Now that my son is two he rarely gets hiccups.
Things that can trigger hiccups.
Knowing now that newborns and infants likely have more of a sensitivity to hiccups due to their new and still-developing digestive system, we can dive into what some possible triggers are.
As adults, we can experience hiccups when we chew gum, drink carbonated beverages, and eat too fast (gulp in too much air). We do not have control over hiccups, as they are partially controlled by the autonomic nervous system, which also controls things like our heartbeat, pupil dilation, and other involuntary bodily functions.
Other potential triggers of hiccups in adults include: overeating, spicy foods, hot liquids, and drinking alcohol which causes acid reflux.
Newborns don’t have access to all the potential triggers adults do.
Newborn hiccups can be triggered by:
- An insecure latch while breastfeeding, which allows baby to swallow too much air.
- Too large or too small of a hole in the bottle’s nipple causing baby to gulp air while feeding or gulp air due to frustration and hunger.
- Gastroesophageal reflux disease.
Safe hiccup prevention.
While growing up and getting hiccups as a kid I remember hearing of ways to get rid of them, such as holding your breath, eating a spoon full of sugar, hanging upside down or eating some lemon.
Those remedies have not been proven to work and they are not exactly baby friendly. When I get hiccups, my go-to is to relax and breathe in and out as calmly and slowly as possible and they usually subside shortly after.
Here are some tips of what we can do for our little ones to help them stop hiccups before they start.
Burping often can make a huge difference.
My son suffered from reflux so I quickly learned that I needed to burp him way more often than the average baby to avoid him suffering from a huge spit up disaster.
He was born pre-term (by a little more than 5 weeks early) so his digestive track was more on the sensitive side. He required two medications to keep his food intake down and the reflux under control.
Along with the medications, I would feed him about two ounces max, then burp him. I took my time burping him which at times prolonged his feedings, but it also eliminated any excess air in his belly. (I noticed less spit-up mishaps once I did this.) According to Dr. Sears, any excess air in the belly distends the stomach which can potentially cause hiccups.
I’m not going to say this cured all hiccups and spit-up episodes for my son. There were still some nights that no matter what I did, he’d lose his whole bottle and end up with hiccups. But it definitely helped the frequency noticeably.
Avoid overfeeding.
If your baby overfeeds, the fullness can distend the stomach too fast which in turn can cause your baby’s diaphragm to go into spasms.
Your best bet is to feed your baby less and twice as often. This may be a trial and error scenario for you as you learn what your baby’s triggers are and what methods work best for him.
If you are breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding is not an easy task to master. Some moms and babies get it down and some don’t. An important part of deciding whether to continue to breastfeed or not is to make sure your baby has a secure latch. Unfortunately, this was something my son and I struggled with.
If your baby does not latch well, he may be sucking in too much air which in turn can distend his stomach, irritate his diaphragm and cause hiccups. This does not mean that you should give up on breastfeeding right away. Most hospitals offer the help of lactation consultants who can coach you on how to practice the perfect latch with your little one.
Be sure to listen to your baby while he feeds. Listen for gulping, and how quickly he is eating and sucking in air. If you hear these things you may need to review his latch and confirm his lips are tightly sealed around your areola and not just the nipple.
Bottle feeding has its specifics too.
- The nipple hole size on your baby’s bottle can contribute to too much air intake in one of two ways. If it is too big, your little one might drink way too fast filling up their stomach too quickly causing irritation. If the nipple hole is too small, your hungry baby may become frustrated and try to suck down their milk harder and faster, therefore gulping in too much air.
- Keep the bottle tilted at a 45-degree angle so that the air moves to the bottom of the bottle and baby can avoid sucking it in.
- Try collapsible bag inserts such as the Platex Nurser bottle with Drop-In Liners. These are designed to help babies breathe more naturally during feedings. The collapsible liner helps prevent air bubbles from getting mixed in with milk which helps lessen gas, colic, and discomfort according to their site.
Learn your baby’s feeding signals.
A way to avoid an overly hungry baby who may want to gulp down his food or cry because he is upset is to learn his hunger signals.
Watch for your baby’s cues such as smacking or licking his lips, opening and closing his mouth, or sucking on his lips, tongue, hands, fingers, etc. You can also keep an alarm on your phone or a feeding log to ensure you’re feeding him right before he gets really hungry.
After the feeding.
Another way to prevent air from settling into your baby’s stomach is to keep him sitting upright for a good 20-30 minutes after his feeding.
This will allow his food to settle and keep air bubbles from integrating into his tummy. Also, avoid any type of bouncing movement or high-level activity shortly after he eats.
Once the hiccups have started.
If hiccups start during a feeding.
Try to take a break from his feeding, sit your baby more upright and rub his back.
Your goal would be to try to get your baby to feel relaxed which in turn should hopefully calm his diaphragm and his hiccups. Also, sitting them in the upright position while feeding will contribute to keeping an excess air towards the top of their stomach for easy release while burping.
Hiccups without a recent feeding.
If something other than a feeding has triggered and upset of your baby’s diaphragm, try to keep him relaxed and let them run their course. Just as easily as hiccups come, they can fade away.
Call the doctor if…
If your baby’s hiccups persist for over 20 minutes or up to 48 hours, it may be best to contact his pediatrician, as it might be a sign of gastroesophageal reflux or GER.
GER is common and from experience a temporary condition where babies regurgitate their stomach’s contents up into their esophagus which can cause pain and hiccups. Physicians can provide you with options available to your baby to make this phase more tolerable.
Every case will be different, as not all children are the same. Unfortunately, my son dealt with reflux symptoms until he was about seven months old. His case was more severe where he would projectile vomit his entire bottle which contributed to his hiccuping episodes and suffering.
It was painful to watch him suffer like that, especially because he would be hungry again. We had to adjust how much he was fed, how often he was burped, his formula brand and type, and have him sleep on an incline (the Dex Baby Safe Crib Wedge worked well for us).
I definitely had to pace his eating as well and monitor his feeding cues. Thankfully, he grew out of it and grew away from spit ups and hiccups but it took time and patience on all of our parts.
The bright side of hiccups is that they are nowhere near life threatening or painful. There are some more severe cases of hiccups like chronic hiccups, persistent hiccups, and intractable hiccups which are likely not the case for your little one, as they are very rare.
SOURCE: Momtricks
Exhausted doesn’t even describe the newborn days. Waking up delirious from sleep deprivation multiple times a night. Struggling with the initial discomfort of breastfeeding, all while recovering from childbirth.
Life with a newborn also made me doubt myself and question every decision I made. I wondered what in the world I got myself into as I wished for easier days (and reminisced about my old life). I wasn’t sure whether I was even fit to be a mom.
Newborn tips and tricks
But as with all things parenthood, I learned on the job. I discovered little hacks that made the days easier and more manageable. I researched newborn tips and tricks and grew more confident and better equipped to handle a new baby. And I reached out to fellow moms and discovered their secrets to surviving the newborn stage.
In short, these are the cool newborn tips and tricks I wish I knew from the start. They’re quick wins when we need them most—newborn baby care tips for new moms to better manage.
Below are my best newborn tips and tricks I hope you find useful as well:
1. Onesies can also be pulled down during messy accidents
Nearly every onesie will come with those envelope flaps near the collar. At first I thought this was designed to accommodate different-sized heads and to make it more comfortable for baby to pull a shirt over his head.
Turns out, those envelope flaps are much more functional than fitting over a baby’s head. They allow you to pull the onesie down.
Normally, you’d undress the baby by lifting the onesie over the head. But at some point, you’ll likely face the dreaded poop explosion. One so full it spills out of the diaper and onto the onesie—not exactly something you’d want to pull over the baby’s head.
The envelope flaps allow you to then pull the onesie down over the baby’s shoulders, removing it without going near the baby’s head.
2. Eliminate gas with the elbow-to-knee trick
My little guy had a serious case of gas, so much so that he was difficult to put to sleep. He’d fuss and cry, and I felt helpless with how to help him. I tried gas drops, which only seemed to help a little. I even tried different bottles, hoping that a new brand would ease his troubles.
Nothing seemed to work—that is, until I learned the elbow-to-knee trick.
Now, I had heard about doing bicycle kicks with a baby to expel gas. I tried this move, moving my baby’s knees closer to his chest, hoping he’d toot a little gas out of his tummy. It still didn’t work.
But then I tried the elbow-to-knee trick, which instantly removed my baby’s gas. Every time I’d touch his elbow to the knee, he’d give a little fart, then another when I repeated with the opposite limbs. It seemed like a miracle!
So, here’s how you do it:
- Lie your baby down on his back.
- Move his right elbow and left knee towards each other as if they were going to touch.
- Do the same with the opposite elbow and knee: Move his left elbow and right knee towards each other.
- Alternate a few times until your baby stops farting.
Hopefully each time you connect one elbow to the opposite knee, your baby will fart and expel some gas. This will keep him be more comfortable and better able to sleep.
3. Keep your baby awake no longer than an hour and a half to avoid over-stimulation
Before I had kids, I figured babies sleep anywhere. After all, at family parties, we’d pass babies from person to person, and I never considered whether they were asleep or not.
When I had my first, I did the same. I didn’t follow any type of routine, much less look at the clock to see how long he’s been awake.
The result? He felt cranky and overtired, which made it harder to put him to sleep. I couldn’t lay him down drowsy and awake—instead, I had to hold him in my arms, rock or feed him to sleep.
Turns out, babies can only stay awake for so long. And more importantly, they don’t “just fall asleep” when they feel tired. If they’re overstimulated, hungry, uncomfortable or tired, they have a hard time falling asleep.
I then began to be more conscious of how long my baby was awake. I learned that an hour and a half is about the most a newborn can stay awake. And I looked for sleep cues and didn’t hesitate to put my baby down for a nap, even he’d only been awake for 45 minutes or an hour.
And guess what—he began to sleep better. He was less cranky and overtired and instead seemed to welcome his next nap. When I had twins a few years later, I remembered this handy trick and avoided keeping them awake too long, making them easy sleepers from day one.
Sure, this isn’t always convenient, especially if you feel stuck at home, but it can make a huge difference with how easy it is to put your baby to sleep.
4. Track your baby’s feedings and diapers
Your doctor will likely ask a few questions about your baby’s progress:
- what types of bowel movements he’s had
- how often he pees
- how many ounces of milk or minutes he nurses
And if you breastfeed, you’ll want to track how many minutes he nurses and on which breast. If he’s bottle-fed, track how many ounces he drinks.
For accurate answers, record your baby’s feedings so you don’t have to pull the information from memory.
Track your baby’s diapers as well, including, the kind of poop he had, such as color, texture, and how often he peed or pooped. Not exactly enticing, but necessary.
SOURCE: Sleepingshouldbeeasy
